Onward Babe
← Back to your Path

Let's get you ready

You're considering treatment · no details given · change answers
Email me my appointment questions We'll email you a link to your Considering treatment questions — plus what to bring and which tests to ask about — so they're on your phone in the exam room. You'll also get What's Next, our monthly email. Unsubscribe any time.

Or · ·

Questions to ask

  • Based on my results, why are you recommending this option first, and what would you recommend if it doesn't work?
  • What are the success rates for this treatment for someone my age with my diagnosis, per cycle and after several cycles?
  • What is our timeline? At what point would you change the approach if this isn't working?
  • What is the total cost of one cycle, including medication and monitoring, and what is and isn't refundable if it's cancelled?
  • Can your financial counselor run my benefits and tell me in writing what's covered before I commit?
    Ask for the biller or financial counselor by name. They appeal denials for a living and they're the most underused person in the building.
  • What are the risks and side effects I should plan around, including multiples?
  • Has my partner had a semen analysis? If not, can we order one now?
    Male factors contribute in roughly 40–50% of cases, and the test is simple. It's the most commonly skipped part of an evaluation.
  • Which of these tests and treatments are typically covered, and can your office help me check my benefits before we start?
  • Who do I contact with questions between appointments, and how quickly should I expect a reply?

Things to bring

  • All test results for both partners
  • Your insurance card, plus whether your plan is self-funded or fully insured, and any third-party fertility benefit (Progyny, Carrot, Maven, Kindbody)
  • A note of your priorities: time, cost, number of children hoped for, tolerance for procedures
  • Your partner, if possible. Decisions are easier with two sets of ears.

Tests to ask about

  • Why this option. What about my results makes this the right first step, and what would make you recommend something else?
  • Success rates for people like me. Per cycle and cumulative, for my age and diagnosis, at this clinic. Clinic-specific IVF data is public.
  • Number of attempts. How many cycles of this before we reassess or move to the next option?
  • Side effects and risks. Including multiple pregnancy with ovulation medication and IUI, and ovarian hyperstimulation with IVF.
  • The full cost. Medications, monitoring, procedures, anesthesia, freezing and storage, and what happens financially if a cycle is cancelled.
  • Your actual coverage. Whether your plan is self-funded matters more than your state's mandate — state laws don't apply to self-funded employer plans, and most large employers are self-funded. How to find out, and what to ask →
  • Alternatives. Is there anything less invasive, or more effective, worth discussing first?

Nail this down before you leave

  • Exactly what the recommended treatment involves, visit by visit
  • The realistic chance of success for you, not the clinic average
  • What the plan is if it doesn't work, and after how many tries
  • The full cost and what's covered

Questions that work in any appointment

These four apply to any test, any treatment, any recommendation — and they're the ones that turn a pronouncement into a decision you're part of.

  • Does this evidence apply to my situation specifically?
  • What would this test change about our plan?
  • What are the benefits, the risks, and the alternatives?
  • What would make you recommend a different approach?

If they say everything looks normal

  • Which of the standard tests have actually been done, and which haven't?
  • If everything is normal, what would you look at next, and when?
  • Is there anything in my history that would make you consider additional testing?
  • What's the plan from here, and at what point would you change it?

What happens next

If you decide on medication or IUI, ask for the plan to be written down: which medication, what monitoring, how many cycles, and the point at which you'd reassess.

If you decide on IVF, move to I'm doing IVF for the step-by-step Path.

It's normal to take a cycle or two to decide. Time matters, but so does going in with a plan you understand.

Notes from the appointment

Onward Babe is educational, not medical advice. Everything here is built from published research and professional guidelines so you can have a better conversation with the doctor who actually knows your situation.