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Questions to ask

Looking at my history and results, is there anything you would have done differently or anything that's missing?
What would your plan be for me, and how does it differ from what I've been told?
Has my partner had a semen analysis? If not, can we order one now?
Male factors contribute in roughly 40–50% of cases, and the test is simple. It's the most commonly skipped part of an evaluation.
What are your success rates for someone my age with my diagnosis?
If I stayed with my current provider, what would you want me to ask them?
A good second-opinion doctor will answer this honestly.
If I transfer care, what's involved, and can my embryos or samples move with me?

Things to bring

Complete records: results, cycle summaries, embryology reports, pathology from any loss
A one-page timeline you write yourself: dates, tests, treatments, outcomes
Your specific concerns about the current plan, written down
The question you most want answered

Tests to ask about

Records. A complete copy of your test results, cycle summaries, embryology reports, and notes. Ask the current office; they're required to provide them.
Clinic data. For IVF, clinic-specific success rates for your age group are public through the CDC and SART. Compare before you book.
The specialist type. A reproductive endocrinologist for infertility; for recurrent loss, an RE or a maternal-fetal medicine specialist; for a male-factor issue, a reproductive urologist.
How to vet them. Board certification, state licence, clinic outcomes, and what they've actually published on. Reviews are worth reading, but not the way most people read them: see how to research a doctor.
Their approach. How the new provider would evaluate or treat you differently, and why.
Logistics. Whether embryos or frozen samples can be transferred, and what that costs.

Nail this down before you leave

Whether the new provider's assessment differs, and specifically how
What they would do next, and why
Whether you want to transfer care, stay, or take the new plan back to your current doctor

Questions that work in any appointment

These four apply to any test, any treatment, any recommendation — and they're the ones that turn a pronouncement into a decision you're part of.

Does this evidence apply to my situation specifically?
What would this test change about our plan?
What are the benefits, the risks, and the alternatives?
What would make you recommend a different approach?

If they say everything looks normal

Which of the standard tests have actually been done, and which haven't?
If everything is normal, what would you look at next, and when?
Is there anything in my history that would make you consider additional testing?
What's the plan from here, and at what point would you change it?

What happens next

Three outcomes are all fine: the new opinion agrees and you feel reassured; it differs and you transfer; or it differs and you take the new plan back to your current doctor, who agrees to it.

If you transfer, ask the new clinic to request your records directly, and ask about moving any frozen embryos or samples.

Then return to the Path that matches where you are: Where are you right now?

Notes from the appointment

Onward Babe is educational, not medical advice. Everything here is built from published research and professional guidelines so you can have a better conversation with the doctor who actually knows your situation.